Of Leprechauns, Pranks, and Pixie Dust
by chistar
Summary: Lily's life revolves around making other peoples' lives more interesting with pranks, and jokes...and all sorts of fun. Then she meets James Potter, and her whole world changes...and not exactly for the best. L/J love/hate


Hello!!! Thanks for stopping in to read my story. I really think that you won't regret it! This part starts out a little slow, and I don't like the middle part at all, but I promise that as soon as she gets to Hogwarts, it will be AWESOME!!! It should be pretty funny, too. I really hope you enjoy it! Thanks, Christa.  
  
Dear Diary,  
I've never actually written a diary before, but I noticed on that last day of school a few weeks ago while reading Petunia's over the PA system that you're supposed to start with that- 'Dear Diary'. Anyway, of course Petunia, who is a year older than me, also followed that with names of every guy in the universe that she did, or had ever thought was cute, then in enormously large letters, the name of her latest big crush. This week's was Vernon Dursley, for the Ififth weekI running. Yuck. Unfortunately for you, there is absolutely no way that I will do anything of the sort. You'll be a bit like a shrink, the person I let all my steam off to. And, being the middle child, with red hair and shocking green eyes, I'm definitely entitled to a bit of...how do you say...oh! Turning the world upside down? For the past eleven years of my life, ever since the day of my birth on March 17--St. Patrick's Day in almost every country--I have found it my absolute duty to create mischief, enjoyment and lighten the world a little. Because of my self-appointed job, most people I know consider me to be something like a leprechaun, and many call me by this name. Except of course for the principal of my school, who calls me 'young lady, what did you do this time?'. I think that sometimes my friends and family are actually surprised when they turn to talk to me, and don't find a short man with red hair and beard, dressed in a tiny green outfit that matches his eyes, waiting to give them gold.  
Because of my recent, um, exposure of all my sister's innermost thoughts and feelings, my parents grounded me for an entire week. The punishment was to expire at exactly 2 P.M. today. I had spent that last week scheming, and in the end successfully coming up with a prank involving Petunia's luscious strawberry blonde curls and a large can of orange paint accidentally colliding in the dark tonight. Oops! At the exact second my horrendous torture was going to end, the doorbell rang, and I was ordered to go get it, my last act as a slave before I got grounded again, probably only hours later. As I opened the door, the oddest person walked in.  
  
center~flashback~/center  
  
I walked up to the door and shooed my barking golden retriever, Cody, off to the kitchen. Unbolting the door, I yelled, "Coming!"  
  
A middle-aged woman in a long deep violet robe walked in, smiling broadly. She looked very excited about something...not salesman excited...little kid with a new toy excited. In her left hand was a long, shiny stick that looked suspiciously like a wand like what I always imagined the fairy godmother to have in Cinderella. In her right hand, however, was something that although it looked more ordinary, it caused a shiver to run up and down my spine. It was an envelope made from parchment with ink that seemed to jump off the paper--it was as startlingly green as my eyes. I looked closely, and it said:  
  
centerLillian Marie Evans  
404 Oak Avenue  
London  
Third Bedroom/center IWhat's going on?/I I thought.  
  
"Hello, Lily." The woman said, interrupting my thoughts. "Is there any place that we can go, so I can talk to you and your family?"  
  
Curious, I nodded. I walked her back to the family room, where my parents and sister Petunia had been watching television.  
  
My younger sister, Jasmine, was over at a friend's house down the way. "Mom, Dad, this lady wants to talk to all of us."  
  
My parents looked up. "Hello," my father said, "may I have the pleasure of making your acquaintance?" (He is always rather polite around strangers.)  
  
"I'm Marian Fletcher, pleased to meet you. I trust that you are Derek and Felecia Evans?" My parents smiled, and stood up to shake her hand. Then Marian Fletcher looked over to Petunia. "And you are."  
  
"Petunia. Pleased to meet you." Petunia gave a sweet smile.  
  
"And you must be Lily." She said, turning to me. After I nodded, she continued. "I have a few surprises for you and your family. Let's all sit down, shall we? And I can tell you what I came for."  
  
"As odd as this may seem to you, I promise that I am not some mad old lady, trying to feed you some crazy story. Now, there is a cycle in the beliefs of most people. When people are very young, they believe in things like magic, and fairies, and other wonderful things. Then, as they grow older, these beliefs change, and the children turn into adolescents and teenagers, and eventually adults, and their belief in magic fades, until they think they Iknow/I that there is no such thing as magic. This lack of faith continues until they start to become older, and are finally elderly people. Then, they have seen so much of the world that they have learned to hope for magical things. Then their belief comes again. But, for you and your family, you get the opportunity to know that-"  
  
"Sorry, ma'am," my father interrupted, "but are you selling something?"  
  
The woman looked scandalized. "Why, of course not! I'm going to get to what I came for in just a moment. Now, as I was saying, the belief in magic is like an endless circle. However, through the believing and non-believing, it exists all the same. IThat/I is what I came to tell you."  
  
"You came to tell us that magic is real? No offense or anything, but, Iwhat are you on?/I"  
  
"Yes, yes. I know it is quite unbelievable at first, but I am not here just to Itell/I you, of course, I am here to Ishow/I you! And, of course, there is a reason that I am here to tell you about magic, even though we don't like muggles knowing, of course. Muggles are non-magical people, of course. Now, to the reason I came. I shall tell you why first, and then prove to you that magic does exist. You see, there are many schools that magic is taught at. However, the best in England is Hogwarts. Of course, many think that Hogwarts is the best in the Iworld/I, so it is quite an honor to be accepted. Anyway, what I am trying to say, is that, you, Lillian Marie Evans, were accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Here is your official letter of acceptance." She handed over the parchment envelope, that I could now see had a seal, with a giant 'H', and a snake, a badger, a raven, and a lion surrounding it. I broke the seal and opened the envelope. I pulled out the letter, and read:  
  
centerbHogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore/b (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump,  
International Confed. of Wizards)/center  
  
Dear Miss Evans,  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. Yours sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall  
  
I gasped in surprise. However, I wasn't quite taken in. Yet. This lady was trying to say that magic existed! And that I, Lily, was a witch! Or at least, going to be one, after I finished my training.  
  
I passed the letter on to my parents, who both looked at it, openmouthed in shock. Then, Petunia looked at it with an air of disdain. She'd never been as fascinated with fairy-tales as I had been. But, we continued to listen to this Marian Fletcher. Afterwards, I was quite surprised that my father hadn't kicked her out of the house. While it was happening, however, one could not even think about doing such a thing. The woman had an air about her that made you want to stay and listen. She was saying things that people only expected to hear out of the mouths of madmen, and we were still drawn to her words like flies to rotting flesh.  
  
Mrs. Fletcher interrupted our thoughts. "Now that I have explained that there is magic, I think it is time for me to prove my point." She lifted her wand, and turned to me. "Lily, is there anything that you want me to turn this table into?" She said, pointing to the coffee table.  
  
I thought hard. "Er-a rabbit?" No sooner had I said that, than the woman flicked her wand, and muttered something under her breath. Then, before my eyes, there was no denying it, was a fluffy white rabbit. I gasped, and the rabbit came over and sniffed my leg. "My God," I whispered.  
  
Mrs. Fletcher's face broke into a grin. "So, do you any of you have any more doubts? I can do things other than just turn things into other things, you know. I, too, was trained at Hogwarts."  
  
My mom and dad were speechless. Then, my dad looked up. "How do we know that this place is safe, and that this just isn't a ploy to kidnap our daughter? I'm sorry, but you understand that we have to be careful about this."  
  
Mrs. Fletcher smiled. "Don't worry. You will have complete ability to send letters to Lily, every day if you would like. Just owl her, and the children normally receive their letters during breakfast. She'll also be able to owl you back. So, you will know that she is in completely wonderful care. If you would like, you could even have special codes, if you don't trust us to not read the letter, so that you can know that it is actually from Lily, and that she is telling the truth in what she says. The students are also allowed to come home during the Christmas and Easter holidays, although they also may stay at the castle."  
  
Dad pondered this, and nodded. Then, his face contorted into another perplexed look. "That sounds okay, but how do we Iowl/I her?"  
  
"Well, the owls of the wizard world carry letters. You merely have to tell the owl where to go, and the owl will fly there, and deliver the letter to the person the letter is addressed to. Lily can borrow school owls, to send to you, or she could buy one, as a pet. That is normally the better deal, because the owls are then completely loyal to you, and less likely to not know where to go. Especially since after a few trips to the same place, the owl could fly there in its sleep. Now, if you agree that Lily can go to this school, I can take her to Diagon Alley, in London next week. It is a whole group of shops that are completely magical, and no muggles can get in, without the help of a wizard to guide them. I don't recommend that all of you come too, although, if you or Felicia want to come, I suppose that it can be arranged."  
  
My mother nodded. "I'll go." Dad shot her an almost dirty look. He was interested in the magical world, too.  
  
Mrs. Fletcher smiled. "Don't worry, Derek. I'm sure they will tell you about everything the moment that they get home. So, there are no objections to Lily going to Hogwarts? This is a big decision. She Ihas/I to be trained in magic, but in some cases where the children really don't want to go, there can be arranged a tutor, so the child won't have to leave his or her family. Although," she said with a twinkle in her eyes, "Hogwarts is Iloads/I of fun more than any muggle school. Believe me, I'm muggle- born, too."  
  
I looked at my parents pleadingly. IPlease let me go. Please let me go. Come on, say yes./II gave a puppy dog face, pouting out my lower lip.  
  
My parents exchanged glances. "Well." My mom started.  
  
"Come on, Mom," I begged. "If you don't let me go, I will play Iso/I many pranks on you that you will regret saying no for the rest of your life."  
  
Mrs. Fletcher covered her mouth, but a giggle escaped.  
  
"All right honey. I suppose you can go. Because, of course, this is the biggest opportunity of Iany/I lifetime!" My mother grinned, and my dad's look of glee matched hers. Petunia still looked like she was in shock. If she hadn't been the polite, caring Petunia I knew so well, I knew that she would have jumped up and started yelling. She didn't want me to go. I could understand that, though. I would miss her, Jasmine, my parents, and Cody horribly. But, still! This will be such an amazing experience! My whole life would change because of this!  
  
I jumped up and screamed, "YES!!!!!"  
  
Everyone started laughing. Except Petunia.  
  
"So," I started. "Mrs. Fletcher. Could you tell me everything about the magical world? Right now?"  
  
"Well, I'll tell you everything I can, before I have to go report back to Albus Dumbledore-the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Now, at Hogwarts, there are four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. I was in Gryffindor, as was my husband, and we hope that our son will be. He's your age, you know. His name is Mundungus." I held in my giggles. She saw. "I know. My husband insisted. It's a family name, supposedly his great- grandfather had that name, and he promised his grandfather that he would name his first son Mundungus. So, of course I wished for a girl. But, no such luck."  
  
"Why did you come to tell me that I was a witch?"  
  
"Well, it's mostly a volunteer job, although I think that some teachers at Hogwarts go to talk to the kids too. I always thought it would be interesting to see the reactions of the muggle-born witches and wizards, when they found out about Hogwarts. Especially because I was so excited when I found out. So, Dumbledore contacts the witches and wizards he thinks will be interested in telling the muggle-borns, and then he teaches us some things. Like, how to react in emergency situations. Sometimes the parents aren't open Iat all/I to the idea of magic. I remember one of my friends said that when she went to talk to the-"  
  
Suddenly, a small bubble formed next to her head. It seemed to be made out of blue misty air, and it sparkled while it swirled around. From the ball of air came a voice. "Marian, as much as I know that you like talking about the magical world, you will have more time next Monday when you bring Lily to Diagon Alley. It is four o'clock. Time to report back to me. You can have more fun later." The voice that came from the magical ball of air sounded cheery, like it was from a person who spent much of his time enjoying himself.  
  
Mrs. Fletcher blushed, and replied, "Sorry, Dumbledore, I lost track of time. I will Apparate immediately." The ball of air seemed to immediately close in on itself, until the place it had been was normal air. Then Mrs. Fletcher stood up to leave. "It was wonderful meeting all of you, and I shall see you all next Monday, at around 11:00" She turned to my mother. "Make sure that you bring plenty of cash so that we can have it changed into wizard money. We can even get a vault to store money for Lily that she can get when she's in London." Then she looked around at all of us. "Please try not to be too frightened when I Disapparate. I will completely disappear. When I first saw someone Apparate, I fainted. I would go outside, but I don't want anyone seeing me. So, Goodbye! See you." Then, soundlessly, she was gone.  
  
"Wow." Dad said, voicing all of our thoughts. We all just stared into space for about another ten minutes, when we finally picked up the threads of our normal life again.  
center~end flashback~/center  
  
So, diary, I am now officially going to be a witch. A little while after Mrs. Fletcher left, mom went out and bought you for me. She said that I will probably want to write everything that happens down, so I can look back and remember how I felt, and what I did, and what happened when my life reached this turning point. Rubbish. I suppose I Imight/I want to remember this, so I suppose I shall have to write in you a whole bunch. More later!  
~Lily  
  
I set my new diary down on my nightstand and looked over at my clock. 12:00. Midnight. I'd better get to bed. I'm definitely going to need some rest for all the excitement in a few days. Wait a minute. Am I, Lily Evans, thinking that I need some rest to be able to handle the excitement of the next few days? The idea is insulting!  
  
No, I don't need sleep. It'll be about a month before school starts, I'm going to get most of my pranking in now! Then I remembered. That plan, with Petunia's curls and a can of paint.well, what else is anyone going to use orange paint for? Interior decorating for the blind and tasteless?  
  
And the number one pranking rule, in my book is, if you plan a prank, you can never let it go to waste by getting cold feet! I jumped out of bed, and quietly tiptoed down to my garage, where I was storing the paint behind some sleds. I slowly carried it in to the kitchen, and pulled a turkey baster out of one of the drawers. I sneaked up to Petunia's room, and opened the door.  
  
Thank goodness she was a sound sleeper, as I had discovered through a series experiments in seeing what you can do to each member of the family without them waking up. I dipped the baster in to the paint can. I giggled. "All the more to anger you with, dearest sister." I whispered. Then, slowly and carefully, so a minimum amount would get on her skin, I dyed her precious blonde curls with orange paint.  
  
As soon as her hair was orangified to my satisfaction, I made a shocking discovery! I wasn't out of paint! What to do, what to do. Hmm. Bingo! "Fluffy. Fluffy. Where are you?" I whispered.  
  
I knew that darn cat was in here somewhere. Petunia's pride and joy, a white Persian walked out of the closet. "Good girl, come here." I whispered kindly. I knew Petunia would love having her cat's long fluffy fur matching her new hairdo!  
  
I squeezed a bit out of the turkey baster in stripes. "Why look at you, you gorgeous lioness!" Wow. This would have amazing results! As I picked the can up and started walking out of the room, I turned, to admire my handiwork, and-NO! "Fluffy. Fluffy. Honey, don't lick the paint. There you go. Good girl."  
  
I had put the plastic cone over her head that the vet had given her when she had gotten fleas, much to Petunia's dismay, a couple of months ago. "Good girl!" She looked at me haughtily. I laughed. Walking back to my room, I grinned, and thought; INow I've earned my sleep. /I  
  
I woke to the loud, blaring, unending sound of my favorite alarm clock.  
  
My sister's angry screams.  
  
"LILY! WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR? WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'LL, I'LL." There was brief silence. I assumed she had just seen her precious kitten. "LILLIAN MARIE EVANS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAT?" This was the point where she burst into my room, orange hair flying.  
  
I knew this routine, and was, as always, pretending I was still asleep. The show always went better this way, because she would have to wake me up before she could harm me. As was discovered when I was younger, and when I started my pranking, I looked totally harmless and guiltless when I was asleep. My favorite uncle, Hank, had even said that he thinks my unconscious self must be a completely different person, because I look like a sleeping baby. It is only when I am awake that my mouth turns up in a wry grin, and my eyes twinkle with mischief.  
  
Her tones dropped to a murmur. "Lily, dear, wake up." This was the funniest part. When they thought me sleeping, it was just as if she was my kind sister, coming in to wake me, almost regretfully, as if she didn't want to disturb my slumber.  
  
Then, I opened my eyes, and I got to see the change in her face. Her sweet, caring, loving face contorted into a face full of fury. "LILY. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY ON EARTH DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A uFREAK/u?"  
  
As much as this outburst could almost convince me that she hated me with a passion, I knew that on the inside she was trying desperately not to laugh. Even though she minded that her hair was temporarily ruined, she loved my pranking, even if she never admitted it.  
  
My younger sister, Jasmine, walked in the room. She looked at me. "Lily, what on earth did you do this ti-oh." She looked at Petunia. She started giggling, then full out laughing.  
  
She might have been able to control herself, if Fluffy, the not-so-white Persian hadn't walked stiffly in. Petunia ran over, and picked her up, cooing. "Oh, my poor baby! What did she do to you? I know, yes, honey. Oh, she's so mean." She went on for a while, with Jasmine and I cracking up beyond control.  
  
My parents normally don't get involved when I pull a prank, except to give me a very short lecture at breakfast, just for form, because they know there is nothing in the world that will stop me from pulling pranks. Unless, of course, I lost both arms, both legs, and someone gave me a personality transplant.  
  
However, apparently the volumes of my sister's screams qualified for parental involvement this time. My mother walked in with one of her stern don't-push-me looks, plastered securely on her face. But whatever she had been expecting, this wasn't it. "Lily. I never want to *snort* hear of you *giggle* messing around with your sister's *full out laugh* hair! Oh, I give up." She said the rest between giggles. "We all know it's hilarious, but Lily, honey, couldn't you have used something less permanent than paint? It'll Inever/I come out!" She said all this with a good-natured air about her, and then broke down laughing even further.  
  
Petunia looked up, hurt. "But, mother! Shouldn't she be punished? I mean-" This complaint was just because she knew I shouldn't get away with this. She didn't actually mind that much. Then she gave up too. "Lily, this is the most hysterical- I mean- where did you- how did-never mind!" At that point, she was laughing too hard to care.  
  
All of us would have been there for hours, laughing, if my dad hadn't come by, and remarked. "Why, Petunia. You do look lovely this morning. And that horrid, I mean, dear, sweet cat, has never looked better. This family is getting more attractive every day." He only paused for a moment before getting to his true concern. "Um, Felicia? What's for breakfast? My poor stomach has gone hours and hours and hours and-"  
  
Mom cut him off with a well natured glance. "Well," she said. "I think that you should make breakfast today, as, as-" Unable to come up with a reason why my father should make breakfast, as they took turns every morning, she turned on me. "Actually, I think Lily should make breakfast, does everyone agree?"  
  
My dad nodded, and Petunia said, "It's the Ileast/I she should do, okay."  
  
The only person objecting was Jasmine. "Um, mom, dad? You trust Lily to make breakfast? Last time, when she made pancakes, the batter was purple, and she put Ibroccoli/I in them!"  
  
My dad smiled at the memory, but didn't look as sure. "Aww, come on Jasmine." I said, in my sweetest voice. "After all, who can mess up breakfast? And that was last month, and I only put broccoli in because I was carrying it across the kitchen because, um--it won't happen again!" That was something that none of the family would find funny. The broccoli was just for--never mind. No one should know, because some tortures are quite effective.no one in my family had better find out what I was using the broccoli for. If I told you I'd have to kill you.  
  
My mom smiled. She hated making breakfast. "Yeah, and she'll make French toast this time, okay everybody? And the worst that can happen is that we throw her stuff away, and I make more. Sound good?" Everyone agreed.  
  
If that had been the worst thing that could have happened, we would have been safe. But apparently, my cooking skills were just as abnormal as ever. Half of the eggshells fell in the mix, and I decided the only way to fix that up was red food coloring. Hey! It Idid/I fix the white color of the eggshells, and distracted from the sight of them! Everyone would be complaining so hard about the redness that they wouldn't even notice the hard chompings.  
  
But, that wasn't all that happened. I accidentally dumped the whole loaf of bread in, plastic wrapper included. Then, for some odd reason--I blame it on my newfound magical ability--the bread stuck together, and the slices wouldn't come apart for me, so I had to make one enormous piece.  
  
Then the onions fell onto the bread, and it soaked up the flavor. Don't even ask where the onions came from. I had just been trying to test if Fluffy liked onions better when she was orange than when she was white, and, like every time someone puts onions near her, she ran forward and butted her head into it, making it fly across the kitchen. This time, its flight was impeded by the large loaf of inseparable bread, leaving a large crater where it hit, and most likely loads of onion flavor.  
  
But the absolute last straw was when my pet snake, Sally, slid out of her cage, onto the griddle where the large mass of the French toast thing was sitting, and wrapped herself around it, holding tight. She wouldn't let go, and I didn't want my snake to be overly burnt by the griddle (although it did make interesting colors on her skin), so I had to turn off the griddle and go tell my mother about my lack of success.  
  
Having no bread matter in the house anywhere except for the uneatable lump, we went out to breakfast, which we should have done in the first place. Idiots! They had actually trusted my abilities to cook! Unbelievable.  
  
center***/center  
  
Three days later, I woke up to the sound of my mom opening the door, turning my light on, and yelling, "Lily! Get up! It's a big day, we're getting your Hogwarts things!"  
  
Groan. "Mom, do I have to get up? I-wait, you said 'Hogwarts? Oh yeah!" I jumped out of bed, threw some clothes on, bolted down my muffin and orange juice and said, "Ready! Let's go! Come on!"  
  
My mom gave me a look. "Honey, Mrs. Fletcher's not coming until eleven. It's only nine. Besides, maybe you should clean up around here before you go. You're going to have to do a year's work of cleaning before September 1. After all, you'll leave the rest of us here to do your normal chores." I turned around and stared, terrified. Then I saw the twinkle in her eyes. "Just kidding dear. You'll be doing more than your share, by not being around to make the messes."  
  
"MOM!"  
  
"Only joking dearest. Have fun while you are waiting for the next couple of hours and if you have to pull pranks, don't do them to Petunia. She's kind of upset you're going, and that might set her off."  
  
"Upset? How?"  
  
"Well, dear, of course, she's a little jealous that she's not a witch, too, of course and she's definitely going to miss you. We all are. I've been using Petunia's wake up screams lately as my alarm clock. You won't be around to pull jokes anymore." For the first time, it really sunk in. I was leaving my home, my family, my friends, everything I'd always known. What if no one there liked me? I'd miss Petunia, for all that she was stuck up and obsessed with boys. And Jasmine, for all that she could be a spoiled bratty baby. I was going to be all alone. No mom or dad to get me out of trouble. Or into trouble, of course. I'd be in a strange place with strange people, more than half of them had actually grown up in the magical world, and knew a Iwhole/I bunch more than I did, and probably ever would. For one of the first times in my life, I was actually scared.  
  
bTo be Continued.../b (I think...) Now, please review!! Constructive criticism is very welcome, as I don't like the whole part with Marion. It just isn't fun to write, so I really didn't do much with it. How did you like the baking scene? I wrote it a while ago, and now I'm kinda immune to it, so I want to know if anyone actually likes it! 


End file.
